


Suspension

by glittercyborgprincess



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Episode Prediction, Gen, Suspended, and maybe some negativity toward Liv, barba has some thoughts in this one, i'm rooting for barba, lord help me, mccoy better treat barba well, or i'm gonna scream, so i apologize in advance, suspension is the best option
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 22:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13556598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glittercyborgprincess/pseuds/glittercyborgprincess
Summary: Suspension, he could handle. This humanity thing that Liv keeps bothering him about? Not so much.





	Suspension

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, yes, the idea of next week is killing me. Suffer with me.

Suspended. 

I taste the word on my tongue and settled back into my seat. 

Suspended had a better ring to it than disbarred or jail time. Suspended was something I could work with. Something I could deal with and get over. Because, at the end of the day, suspended means that I could always come back to this job. I’ve done it once, I’ll survive it again. 

After all, weren’t the best lawyers the ones that have been suspended? 

(But then again, perhaps I’m just trying to make myself feel better about how this all played out.) 

I thank McCoy, for having mercy on both me and my career. 

And then I’m on my way. 

Lyft, called. Heart, still in my throat. But I can still breathe...sort of. The only thing hanging over me is the fact that my phone is silently blowing up with messages from the entire SVU department. Carisi sent me 5 messages, all lawyer jokes and trying to be fun, nonchalant. Rollins sent a message (or two or three) telling me that she’s glad I’m not going to jail. Even Fin sent a message with just a thumbs-up emoji. And Liv....I have approximately 15 messages from Live. However, I refuse to even look at the message preview to see what she sent. 

I just can’t bring myself to look at her name, much less read what she wrote me. Right before the meeting with McCoy, she had sent a reiteration of what she’s been telling me for the past three years: 

I have absolute faith in your humanity. 

I can’t help but harbor almost a resentment toward her. Not that I hate her; I could never. But part of me...part of me recognizes that five years ago, I would have never sacrificed my job for a defendant. I would have scoffed at the idea of being a humane lawyer. Lawyers weren’t humane. We were mean. We were vicious. I cared only about the kill. Winning the case and getting out. Five years ago, I would have laughed at the idiot who let himself get involved so deep in a case.

My Lyft pulls up to the curb and I let out a deep breath. Suspended, my brain reminds me. Maybe I shouldn’t have splurged on a Lux drive when I won’t be working for the next few months. Ah, well, what’s done is done. It’s too late. I make it over to the black sedan and lean over to the passenger door. “For Barba?” 

The driver looks over and smiles. “For Barba. You ready, sir?” 

I allow myself to smile back at them. “Yes, thank you.”

And as I pull the door open, I freeze. There she is, speak of the devil. Liv. My breath catches in my throat and I find myself unable to move. Across the street, she raises a hand in a wave and I can see her lips forming the beginnings of my name. Not letting myself take the time to mull it over, I pull together my strength and force myself into the sedan and let out a large sigh?

The driver peeks over at me from the rear-view mirror. “Do you need a moment?” 

I settle into the cool leather of my ride and offer a weak smile to my driver. “Nope.” They nod, maybe a little hesitant, and pull away from the DA’s office. I don’t even turn back to watch Liv as her figure inevitably disappears from view. My phone lights up with Liv’s smiling face and I flinch. Humanity, huh? I turn my phone off and close my eyes. 

Sorry, Liv.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still die-hard Barson shipper, please forgive me.


End file.
